


I'm Kindling and You've Got A Match

by holeybubushka



Series: The Prank Was Foiled AU [4]
Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: All the Gang are Up at the Lodge but not the one crawling with Wendigos, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, F/F, F/M, Josh is sad for some of this but also has many gay thoughts, M/M, Multi, Pranks was foiled AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2019-02-19 05:53:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13117416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holeybubushka/pseuds/holeybubushka
Summary: It's hard enough, pretending to be happy when your sisters don't need you anymore and the girl you thought you didn't want is now happy with someone else. But sometimes you got to make the best out of a bad situation, even if that means Josh has to entice Michael Munroe to be his new drinking buddy.ORJosh and Mike are the only singles in a Colorado holiday house.They make do.





	I'm Kindling and You've Got A Match

**Author's Note:**

  * For [provocation](https://archiveofourown.org/users/provocation/gifts).



> This is Josh, so there is swearing, self destructive thoughts, lusting and general obnoxiousness. I tried to make this completely PG but Josh wouldn't let me.

He always thought of her as a one-woman fire.

Vivacious, fierce and bold. With a smile so sharp it drove Josh crazy.

He certainly wasn’t planning for anything to happen between them. He didn’t want to be the kind of brother who fucks his sisters’ friends, but he’s only human, and a weak one at that.

For months, he saw how her eyes lingered over his body, the coquettish lilt to her voice.

Jess flirts with everyone, but with him there was a purpose.

Not anymore, it seems.

He guesses he should be grateful she decided to tell him before they all went up to his family’s second holiday home (a lodge high up in the mountains of Colorado, a serene place where Josh isn’t woken up in the dead of night by high pitched, otherworldly screams). Jess cornered him after one of his classes at community college. He had barely said hello before she was ending it. He didn’t really think there was anything to end in the first place, but then, looking at Emily and Jess right now, that’s probably not the case.

He was stupid to think he could play with fire and not get burnt.

Jess had asked him to keep her relationship with Emily a secret, as if anyone is going to be shocked that Em is a lesbian, but coming out is scary and Josh is really, really, not one to judge.

But, despite that, he feels a little aggrieved when the pair of them are making a show of themselves. It’s the first night of their month-long trip at the lodge and Jess and Emily are doing a pathetic job of keeping their secret. They’re flirting, hanging off each other like they can’t bear to be apart, not even bothering to be coy during a game of beer pong with Sam and Beth.

Some would say it was sweet.

They would be wrong.

At least some things never change. When he enters the kitchen, he sees his best friend playing on his phone.

“Bet you’re loving the Wi-Fi up here, Cochise.”

“Man, I don’t know how we survived up at your other place. That ski lodge, we were there, like, two years ago? Blackwood something?”

“Blackwood Mountain. And we didn’t stay the whole weekend, if I recall.”

“Oh yeah,” Chris winces. That weekend brought up bad memories for all involved. “Yeah well, no internet has to be classified as like, torture or something.”

“Tell that to the UN.”

“Oh sure, I’ll do that next time I swing by.” Josh hears Chris’ phone beep. He ignores it. He wonders if he should take out some of the pizzas from the freezer and let them thaw out in the fridge. He wants to help. Beth has practically organized this whole trip and he’s almost certain Hannah is going to be far too…. _distracted_ …to lift a finger to help.

When he glances up, Chris is staring at his phone, eyes wide and glassy, the tips of his ears burning the brightest pink.

“Who is the mystery caller?”

“What,” Chris starts. His skin is flushed and he’s biting his lip, striving hard not to groan. Josh almost scoffs. Chris would be a terrible spy.

“Who texted?” Josh asks, innocently, as if he doesn’t know already.

“Oh. Er. No one.”

“No one? The only person I’ve seen you go this red over is Ashley.”

“What? Nah, man it’s…. my Mom. She’s just checking up on me.”

“Yeah, Okay, Cochise. No red blooded, all American male, goes that red when it’s their mother on the line.”

“Dude, just drop it.”

“Gimme the phone,” he says, moving to grab it. Chris staggers back, as if burnt, bringing the phone to his chest.

“No!”

“If it’s nothing, then you won’t mind if I go find Mike and we can all look at your… mom’s text together.”

Chris glowers at him, nostrils flaring, looking like he’s considering socking him in the jaw. Josh grins. Suspicion confirmed. Chris only gets in touch with his inner cave man when it comes to Ash.

“I’m going to go.”

“About time. Ashley’s waiting, and every second you’re standing here is a second wasted when you could be up in your room, enjoying the supple sweetness of your crazy hot girlfriend.”

“You’re such a jerk,” Chris says, although his words don’t carry any bite.

“I am,” Josh agrees.

“You don’t….” Chris hesitates.

“Bro! Are you blind? I don’t need a babysitter.”

“Ah,” Chris rubs the back of his neck, looking even more embarrassed with each passing second. “Well, uh, if you don’t mind, I’ll… um…go….”

“Yes, yes,” Josh says, dismissing him, grinning when Chris turns on his heels and almost scampers out of the room. “Say hi to Ash for me,” he calls after him.

His good cheer ebbs away the second he walks back to the living room. His sister and Sam are gone, leaving Emily and Jess alone, the beer pong game recently abandoned.  Jess is talking to Emily, her hands flailing all over the place, braids bobbing whenever she moves. She’s radiant, passionate, and it’s hard not to stare.

Emily must agree. Jess’s top has ridden up a bit at the back, and Emily is taking advantage, rubbing her fingers across the exposed skin. It’s a gentle touch, intimate but not expectant, and just looking at them makes Josh feel like a voyeur.

Fuck that. He doesn’t need this.

Before he can stumble away, he’s corned by Sam and Beth.

“Did you know?” Sam asks.

Josh cocks an eyebrow, looking between Sam, who looks positively gleeful, and Beth, who looks positively less so.

“You’re going to have to be more specific,” he drawls.

“About Jess and Em!” Sam bursts out. She’s practically wiggling with excitement. “They’re together!”

“Huh,” Josh says. You’d think by now he’d be used to idea, but hearing the words out loud still stings like a slap.

“Huh? That’s your response? I can’t believe you are so cool with this. This is _huge?”_

“Well, I could tell you all my debauched thoughts about our two-gal pals over there, but I don’t think you’d like that either, Sammy.”

“Gross, Josh, I don’t mean like that,” Sam huffs, but just like he hoped, she’s turned her attention elsewhere. “Beth, did you know?”

“Well…”

“Oh my god, Beth!”

“What,” his sister rolls her eyes, putting her hands up in the air defensively. “Jess told me.”

“Jess told you?”

“We’ve been friends forever and she swore me to secrecy.”  Sam opens her mouth, no doubt to plead spousal privilege, but Beth talks over her. “She made me swear to tell no one, Sam, and she asked me _specifically_ not to tell you.”

“I can’t believe it!”

“Yeah well,” and Josh follows Beth’s gaze. Emily and Jess have migrated over to the couch. Jess has an arm thrown around Emily, the pair of them gazing shyly into each other’s eyes. Josh has never seen Emily look so sweet or Jess so smitten. It’s brazenly intimate, and it would be cute if it didn’t make Josh feel like he’s going to hurl. “If it’s any consolation, babe, it looks like Jess isn’t any good at subterfuge.”

“But why keep it a secret until now? Everyone knows Jess is bi and no one cares what Emily is. Why the mystery? Josh? What do you think?”

“Oh no,” he says, backing away. “Don’t drag me into your domestic. You’ll have to figure out that one all by yourselves.”

He can feel Sam and Beth’s eyes boring into his back and he turns on his heels, practically powerwalking out of the room.

He needs a drink. Or a dozen. Anything to scrub Jess’s besotted expression out of his brain.

He heads to the second living room. It takes a few minutes to get to it. The lodge is so huge he’s barely been to this part and he can see why; this is a bored socialite’s wet dream. Everywhere you look there’s sleek, marble sculptures, gaudy, avant-garde art and grandiose bookshelves filled with dust-laden books.

A few milky shards of moonlight have sneaked through the boarded-up shutters and despite being a horror film aficionado, Josh feels a chill run down his spine.

“Don’t be a schmuck, Josh,” he mutters to himself. He doesn’t know what’s gotten into him. He’s never been creeped out by an empty room before.

Before he can start making the place inhabitable, he hears one of the doors open, with a familiar voice humming a tune Josh doesn’t know.

“My, my, my, is that a Washington I see,” Mike grins. As the door shuts behind him he shakes, like a dog, flecks of snow falling around him like dust. “Move over, dude, this place feels like a morgue.”

“Sure.” He’s so used to playing the host it’s a relief to let someone else do it. Mike dumps the kindle wood on the fireplace.

“Matches?”

“All yours,” he says, digging some out from his pocket.

“Okay dokey,” Mike says, lighting it and tossing the match onto the fire. It takes him a couple of times, but soon the dry logs begin to catch alight. “All right. Man one, fire zero.”

“Actually, you used three matches before you got it going, so I’d say fire kicked your ass.”

“Semantics, semantics.”

“Whatever you say.”

“Well, I say I’d like some booze. Can you oblige?”

“Can I?” Josh grins. He’s already feeling a little better. Mike really is an amusing distraction. “I can oblige big time.”

  
                                                         ++++

“All right, my man, we gotta come up with a game plan.”

They’re sitting on a rug in front of the fire, which is now roaring. In less than half an hour the room has become warm and toasty, so much so both him and Mike have peeled off their overcoats. When Josh leans against the front of the sofa, his hand knocks an empty can of rum and coke. Josh blinks. Now that he looks at it, there’s empty cans strewn everywhere.

Whoops.

“What plan?”

“A _nookie_ plan.”

“Dude. What?”

“We’re here for a month. There’s no way I’m going that long without the touch of a woman.” Mike leans close, so close Josh can smell the rum on his breath. “I’m pretty sure Em isn’t going to take me back, so, how about you have her and I have Jess?”

Josh is not sure he’s heard Mike correctly. “What?”

“Well, everyone else is paired up, but those ladies are ready and waiting. And Jess, you know… she seems like a really fun girl, if you know what I mean.”

Josh wonders if he’s sober enough to kick Mike right in the solar plexus.

“Are you being serious now, dude?”

“What, you’re going to go a month without getting laid? And, I get it, Emily might not be your type. She’s gorgeous but an…acquired taste. Maybe Jess would be up for us both? Not at the same time, though.  Obviously.”

There’s bile in his throat. Typical Mike. He thinks Jess will spread her legs the minute he flutters those long, dark eye lashes. The fucking gall of this guy.

“Oh wow, man,” Josh takes a deep swig of his rum. “You are really out of the loop.”

“What do you mean?”

He was planning to keep his knowledge about Jess and Emily’s relationship on the down-low like he promised. Then again, if Jess isn’t keeping it a secret, why should he?

Plus, Mike’s bubble is begging to be burst.

“They’re together.”

Mike’s face drops.

“What?”

“You heard me, Mike. They’re together.”

“Like, together, together?”

“Afraid so.”

“What? No way. Jess would have told me.”

He sounds upset, betrayed almost. That’s odd. Maybe they were closer than Josh realized. He should have asked Jess about Mike. Then again, there’s many things he should have asked Jess before it was too late.

 “I mean, what the fuck. Emily and I dated. We dated for like, a year. More.  In all that time how could she… she never said a word about…. What the _fuck.”_

“Yeah well. Kinsey scale and all that,” he passes a can towards his friend. “You know what helps in times like this? Rum. A lot of rum.”

“Amen to that.”

                                                  ++++

He’s not sure how it’s come to this, but he’s pretty sure he wouldn’t be demanding Mike take off his shirt if he was sober.

Probably.

“Come on, man, you’re stinking up the place.”

“Only because you spilt rum on me, you asshat.”

“I am very sad I wasted that good rum.”

“Yeah right,” Mike rolls his eyes. He’s standing up next to fire, while Josh is splayed down next to the couch. “You just want to see me without my shirt on, you perv.”

“Can’t I be sad about my lost rum and happy about you without a shirt?”

“Yeah well, I’m not going to be put on display. I’m not a…not a… fucking… display cow.”

“What?” Josh bursts out laughing, and, after a second, Mike joins in. Maybe it’s all the rum, or the fire, or Mike’s dopey face, but Josh is enjoying himself for the first time since they arrived at the lodge. He leans back against the couch and smirks up at Mike. “Quit talking, pilgrim. Strip, strip, strip!”

“Fucking…” Mike growls, low and rough. After a heated pause he grabs the hem of his shirt, tugging it over his head like he’s annoyed.

“There, fuck boy, feeling better?”

Josh wolf whistles. He’s not having to feign being impressed. He’s seen Mike shirtless plenty of times, but he’s never bothered to really look at him before. That was a mistake. Bathed in the warm light from the fire, his friend looks delicious. Broad shoulders, taut stomach, a rather enticing looking snail trail, and how the hell has Josh never really noticed those arms before?

“Are you done? You’re getting drool all over your face.”

Mike’s trying be cavalier, but it’s hollow. Josh can see the tension in his face. He’s nervous, as if he’s afraid of what Josh thinks, which is absurd. It’s not Mike, of all people, is lacking in confidence.

Still, he’s not in the business of making his friends truly uncomfortable, so he grasps at the first idea that pops into his hazy, tipsy head.

“How about we make this interesting,” Josh drawls, smiling lazily, enjoying how Mike seems to be hanging off his every word. “Let’s play strip poker. I’m sure I’ve got cards…somewhere. Definitely.”

“Yeah right, like I’m going to play strip poker with a guy. No offense, but I don’t swing that way.”

“You only have to worry if you lose.”

“Hey, I’m the cards master. I never lose.”

“Well then, _princess,_ you have nothing to worry about,” Josh guzzles the last of his rum, throwing the can away and grinning up at his friend. Mike’s staring at him, and Josh swears he sees a gleam in his eye he’s never seen before, but before he can process whatever weird chemistry is between them, he hears a huff behind them.

A very familiar huff.

“What the fuck are you dorks doing?”

“Sam, Beth!” Mike cheers. His sister and Sam approach them both, looking wary. “Care to join us for a game of strip poker, ladies?”

“Yeah! Come join,” Josh agrees. His voice is sounding slurred even to his own ears. “Cept you, Beth. You can’t join.”

“Aw, man.”

“I’ll kick you, Munroe.”

“Strip poker? This is exactly what we thought you putzes were doing,” Sam sighs. She crouches next to Josh, looking at him intently. He stares back at her, entranced by the tiny cluster of freckles on her nose.

“Okaaaay,” Sam says. She hasn’t taken her eyes off him. “I think you’ve had enough rum for tonight.”

“Jeez, Josh. Once again brother, you’ve outdone us all.” Josh hears Beth’s voice from somewhere above him. She sounds kinda pissed. Still, there’s something oddly comforting about his sister’s words. Even now, when his stomach is churning, and his world is starting to spin, it’s going to be okay because Beth is here. His Beth. Always there-to-help-Beth.

He doesn’t deserve her.

“Okay, we need to sort this out. I’ll take this poor excuse of a human being back to his room. Sam, can you take Josh?”

“Heyyyy, Beth? Beth. Beth. Bethy Beth Beth,” Mike garbles. “There’s two of you. Why do you both look mad?”

“Christ,” Beth grumbles. She puts her arm around Mike, half holding, half carrying him. “Meet you back here in a second, Sam.”

“Come on, Washington,” Sam says, hauling him to his feet. Josh almost staggers, but Sam puts a firm arm around his waist. He always forgets how sturdy she is. “Bed-time.”

He doesn’t remember much as Sam takes him back to his room, except he thinks words begin to tumble from his mouth. Words like _thanks_ , and _you’re family_ , and _sorry_ , _sorry_ , _sorry_.

He sinks into the bed, eyes closing before his head even hits the pillow.

He thinks he hears Sam say: ‘ _be kinder to yourself, Josh’_ but he can’t be sure of anything, not with his brain all thick and groggy with sleep.

He hears the door click shut. He nuzzles into the blankets and lets the blackness overwhelm him.

                                                    ++++

He’s not as hung over as he should be.

Josh is pretty sure him and Mike went through almost a carton of rum and coke, but thanks to his strong constitution, he wakes up with only a bad case of dry mouth. In fact, he even remembers most of last night, with shirtless Mike the definite highlight. Considering Josh’s right hand is going to be his best friend during this trip, that’s a memory worth keeping.

(He’ll stuff the memories of Jess, all flushed and incandescent, down into his chest).

There’s a hum of voices coming from the kitchen. It seems they rest of them are up already. His suspicions are confirmed when he sees almost all his friends sitting around the kitchen table, tucking into what smells like Sam’s vegan pancakes.

His stomach rumbles. It’s loud enough to catch the attention of the group.

“Hey, look, it’s Sleeping Beauty! Come over, we left you some pancakes.”

“Alright. Thanks, Cochise. You’re a gentleman.”

He takes a seat next to Ash, who thoughtfully saved him a spot. Everyone’s back to their conversations, except Beth, who is watching him like a hawk. He rolls his eyes at her, before sticking out his tongue and going cross-eyed, an old trick he used to play when they were kids and he was trying to make her laugh. It works, as usual, and whatever unease Beth was feeling melts away as she turns her attention back to Sam, Matt and Hannah.

He feels a stab of annoyance when he sees Hannah sitting snugly on Matt’s lap, even though there’s an empty chair right next to them. He doesn’t like the look of Matt’s hand, which is idly stroking his sister’s leg, right above the knee. It’s way too familiar for Josh’s liking.

Hannah’s taste in men is famously spotty, and he supposes Matt is just about the least worst option out there. And Josh’s deeply is grateful Hannah’s crush on Mike is in the past, but he’ll be damned if he’s going to trust that mumbling meathead with his sister’s brittle heart.

He’s jerks away from his thoughts of all the elaborate ways he could murder Matt when he hears a soft sigh coming from the opposite side of the table.

Their heads are pressed together, the pair of them staring down at their entwined fingers. A flush, as thick as red ink across a page, is blooming on Emily’s cheeks.  Jess shoots her a bright, gentle smile, caressing one of Emily’s fingers with her own.

Josh swallows, wondering if it would be rude to leave, when -

 “Oh god, please tell me there is coffee, please, please, please?”

“Whoa, Mike you’re looking a little worse for wear.”

“Thanks Ash,” Mike says, rubbing his face as he joins them in the kitchen. Ashley is right, though. There’s bags underneath his eyes, and his skin is pale and shiny, making his stubble look more coarse than usual. Josh should have guessed Mike-light-weight-Munroe could barely handle his liquor.

Still. Trust Mike to look good, even when he shouldn’t.

Mike pours himself a mug of coffee before sitting in the empty chair next to Matt and Hannah. He takes a few sips, blinking and looking at the other members of the table warily.

“Oh. My. God.”

“What?” Matt asks, finally tearing his attention away from Hannah.

“You… you all…are glowing. You’re all glowing. You _all_ have after sex glow. I can’t believe it.”

“Aw. Is poor widdle Michael sad he’s all alone?” Jess teases.

“I am absolutely man enough to say yes.”

 “Mike,” Sam snaps. Josh’s been too distracted by Mike’s entrance to notice the scowl on Sam’s face. “Why the hell were you flirting with my girlfriend last night?”

Everyone stops and gapes at Mike, who doesn’t look nearly as guilty as he should.

“I… wasn’t flirting. I was merely showing off my abs. Flexing the goods, as it were.”

_“Why?”_

“Well, you know,” Mike grins. “Kinsey scale and all that. I mean, she was taking me up to my room and I had my freaking shirt off, so, I was just showing her what’s she missing.”

Sam throws a napkin at him, looking furious, only calming down when Beth reaches over and squeezes her hand.

“Hey,” Mike says, sounding apologetic. “I’m the sad one here with no pancakes and no sex.”

“Better get used to palming it, buddy,” Emily snarks.

“He doesn’t have to,” Josh pipes up. He grins, waiting until Mike finally meets his gaze. “I’m a very handy guy, Mike.” 

There’s a collective ‘ _oooh_ ’ from around the table, and Josh is little smug when Mike flushes, going as red as a ripe beet. He looks down at the table, mumbling that he’ll pass. The others quickly put him out of his misery, the conversation swiftly moving on.

Not Josh though.

Did he… just make Mike blush?

Considering he’s a shameless flirt, he’s used to pushing the boundaries, relishing making people squirm and flush, but he’d never imagine in a million years that he’d make ladies’ man Michael Munroe blush and stammer. He’s never shown any discomfort with gayness before; he’s even joke flirted with Matt, but there’s something heavy in Mike’s gaze that too exciting to ignore.

It’s probably nothing, just Josh’s overactive imagination again, but still.

Mike’s a puzzle he’s eager to solve.

                                                ++++

There’s a glitch in his plan.

Mike avoids him for days, which hurts more than it should. He’s not sure why he’s doing it, but Josh doesn’t have time to brood over this almost-rejection. He’s distracted by the others, especially Chris and Ashley, who seem determined to include him in things even though they’re smitten with one other and can barely keep their hands to themselves. He appreciates it, appreciates that they’re considerate enough to pretend their friendship hasn’t changed, even though three doesn’t _usually_ divide into two.

 Still, being Chris and Ash’s third wheel is much more palatable than seeing Jess hanging all over Emily. Or, almost as bad, Hannah, who is practically glued to Matt’s side, the pair of them making no effort to pretend they’re not sneaking off to have sex at least once a day.

It feels like his entire world has shifted before his very eyes, but he can’t do anything. He’s an extra, trapped in someone’s else movie.

So, he does what he always does.

He drinks. As much as he can. It helps, especially since the new meds Dr. Hill prescribed him makes him very drowsy when combined with rum so that means he’s out like a light most evenings, which is just how he likes it.

The only problem is they run out of alcohol way sooner than anyone anticipated.

Beth sends the guys up to the store, with a sharp warning directed to Matt not to let them get too much rum.

The ‘store’ is really a strip of shops masquerading as the town’s main square. It’s an utterly underwhelming place for an utterly underwhelming town. Matt is still underage, so he heads off to a kitschy tourist shop down the other side of the street. Mike grunts that he’s going to ‘take in the sights,’ wandering off before Josh can ask him what’s crawled up his ass.

It doesn’t take long for him and Chris to buy the booze. Josh already knows what they all like (beer for almost everyone, rum and coke for him, Mike and Chris, vodka for Matt, Ash and Sam, and some kind of sugary, disgusting girly drink for Hannah, Jess, Emily, and, though she keeps it a secret, Beth) and they’re about to leave when Matt ambles up to the car.

“You don’t want to get anything yourself? You have a fake ID, don’t you?” Chris asks him.

“Yeah, but I’m good.”

“Where’d you go?”

 “That jewelry store down the road.”

“Ah,” Chris glances at Josh, as if he’s nervous. “Didn’t take you for a guy who likes bling.”

“Not for me,” Matt says, shoving his hands in his pockets, all sheepish. It takes every bit of willpower Josh has not to roll his eyes. “I just bought something for Hannah.”

“Dude!” Chris cheers, knocking him on the shoulder. “Way to make the rest of us look bad.”

“It’s nothing, really,” Matt says, looking at the ground. Josh wishes he’d shut up so this conversation can mercifully come to an end, but no dice, as his friend pulls out a small, delicate necklace from his pocket. Looking closer, Josh sees it’s a lovely, purple-colored butterfly pendent.

“What do you think, Josh, will she like it?”

“Probably,” Josh says flatly, a small, gnarled part of him happy when Matt looks hurt. “Where the hell is Mike?”

Mike, it turns out, is almost slobbering on the only shop attendant under the age of forty at the convenience store. He’s leaning on the counter, fluttering those dark eye lashes, every few minutes flexing his arms, parading himself around like a bitch in heat. Josh is half worried any second he’ll jump the counter and start humping the attendant’s leg. The girl isn’t receptive, leaning away and avoiding Mike’s gaze.

Jesus. Wasn’t Mike supposed to have game?

“Hey, Mikey boy,” Josh says, standing by the store’s entrance. “It’s almost dark, we gotta go.”

“Uh, Josh, can’t you see I’m a little bit busy here?”

“Yeah, but uh, we all want to go home and drink our sweet bounty. So, come on. We don’t want to leave you out here.”

“Yeah, well, maybe someone could take me in, find me a warm bed to sleep in,” he says, _winking_ at the attendant, who has gone from being annoyed to trying not to laugh in Mike’s face.

“Come on bro,” Josh says, tugging Mike away. Someone’s got to stop this car crash. “Drinks are on me.”

They’re only just out of the store before Mike shoves Josh’s hand off his shoulder, looking more annoyed than he’s ever seen him.

“What the hell, man. Why did you cock block me? I was just about to get that girl’s number.”

“You were just about to get a restraining order.”

“I think I know what I saw, which was the perfect opportunity for me to break my winter drought.”

“Yeah, sorry to burst your bubble,” Josh laughs. “But that was some bad game back there. You were coming off as a desperado, bro.”

“Fuck you,” he snarls, grabbing Josh by the collar and shoving him up against the wall. His eyes are sharp and angry, like he’s ready to blow. “What do you know.”

 “And here I thought you knew how to seduce a woman, Michael,” Josh goads. “You were slobbering all over that poor girl. In fact, I was half expecting you to turn around and let her sniff your butt.”

“You fucking son-on-a-bitch, I’ll ---”

“Hey, uh, are we all good here?” And there’s Chris, anxiously shifting his weight from foot to foot. Behind him is Matt, looking like he’d rather be anywhere but here.

“We’re all good, just getting some manly aggression out,” Josh says, hoping to defuse the tension. It works. Mike drops his hands from the collar of Josh’s shirt. Josh tries to ignore the slight pang in his chest when Mike moves away. “Thanks, peanut gallery, but there’s nothing to see here.”

The other two guys don’t look convinced, but no one wants to push the issue, so they pile into his four-wheeled drive, Chris filling in the awkward silence by cracking a dozen terrible jokes. Josh ignores him, peering at Mike in the car’s rear view mirror. Mike’s brooding, clenching his jaw as he stares out the window, looking like the whole world is perched on his shoulders.

                                                      +++

It only takes twenty minutes before he’s glad that they’ve restocked all the alcohol.

He was hoping, as the only two singles at the lodge, that him and Mike could have hung out. He really enjoyed their camaraderie, and, if Josh is being honest, it didn’t hurt that he’s easy on the eye. It’s no substitute for Jess, and…whatever nameless thing they had between them, but Mike’s an appealing diversion all the same.

Now Mike’s not talking to him, so Josh’s has fucked that up too.

“Hannah,” he says, relieved when he finally spots her in the kitchen, drinking a glass of wine. He lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. No matter what other bullshit is going on, at least there’s Hannah. His bright-eyed Hannah, always glad to see him.

“When are we going to start on our gingerbread house? I’m thinking we need to go all out on the candy canes.”

“Josh!” she squeals, shaking her head, as if in a daze. Her eyes are wide and joyful. Her reaction warms him, until he notices she’s holding Matt’s necklace in her hands.

“Josh, isn’t it the greatest,” she squeals, following his gaze. “How sweet is he?”

“Yeah. Sweet.”

“Sam, have you seen this? Isn’t Matt the best?”

Sam swoops in from the living room and the pair of start talking in high pitches voices, Josh already forgotten. It hurts, more than it has any right to, and Josh almost wants to kick himself when he’s blinking back tears.

He hurries away, needing to find refuge elsewhere. He doesn’t get it in the living room.  He sees Chris sitting with Jess and Emily. Whatever lingering apprehension they had about going pubic with their relationship has slipped away. Emily’s head is nestled in Jess’ shoulders, idling playing with the front of her girlfriend’s shirt.

They all laugh at something Chris says. Then, almost like she feels him, Jess looks up, catching Josh’s gaze. He hopes his face doesn’t betray him.

After a second, Jess tentatively waves at him, motioning for him to come over.

Fuck that.

He heads straight for pantry, pulling out a trusty bottle of Jack.

It’s the only friend he needs right now.

 

                                                        ++++

“Fucking hell, dude, it is ripe in here.”

“What the fuck,” Josh moans into his bed sheet. He pries his eyes open and immediately regrets it. There’s light. Everywhere. Light so bright it makes his head pulse.

“Dude, get up.”

“Wha…”

“Jesus, Josh, is this a whole bottle of Jack? How are you not dead now?”

With great reluctance, he rolls over. That voice. He knows that voice.

“Go away, Mike.”

“Okay, you need air like a normal human being,” Josh shuts his eyes, but can hear Mike moving around the room, cursing as he forces a window open. He meant to tell Mike everything here is old and often iced.

“Leave me alone.”

“No can do, Hombre.”

Josh buries his face in his pillow. Why is Mike always so fucking chipper?

“Hey, look, I don’t know what your deal is, but I do know that this…. is not a way to solve it.”

“Go away.”

“Beth tried to come in and wake you earlier because we thought you might not be alive up here, but I said you’d probably over indulged, and I was right. But now is definitely time for you to rejoin the land of the living.”

“Suck my dick.”

“You know, you make it really hard to say sorry.”

“What?” and with that he finally raises his head, wincing as a spike of pain hits his temple.

Mike smiles down at him. He’s all freshly shaved, bright eyed, carefree, and completely, utterly, _unfairly_ , handsome.

 “I’m sorry for last night.”

“Who put you up to this? Ashley? Where is she? Ash?”

“She isn’t here, Josh. I came to apologize because I was a dick. I shouldn’t have gone off at you like that.”

“Cool.”

“And….  you were right, I was way off my game.”

“Good for you,” he burrows his head back into his pillow. At least his headache is beginning to subside. “Just be you. It’ll work next time. Now go.”

“No can do. You need to get ready. We’ve got a game of baseball in the snow, remember?”

“What?” and that jolts him awake. “That’s not until the afternoon.”

“It’s two o’clock.”

“Oh crap.”

“I know,” Mike agrees. “And you better get your game face on, my friend, because I’ve got the golden arm. Best pitcher this side of the Rockies.”

“Oh really,” Josh smirks. “I’m the best catcher this side of the Rockies, so we’ll work out well.”

There’s a pause, then…

“Oh, okay, now I _definitely_ know you’re feeling better.”

                                                        ++++

The air is frigid, dry. The type of cold that chills, right down to the bone. Josh worries his nose is going to fall off.

Especially considering Mike is drawing this out.

“All right, little lady, get ready to face the man with the fastest arm in the west,” Mike says, speaking in a faux-John Wayne accent.

“The more you keep talking, the better this is going to be for me,” Hannah challenges. From his position at first base, Josh smirks. Not too long ago, Hannah wouldn’t have dared to speak to Mike like that.

 “Oh, all right, all right, now you’re in for it, girl. I’m definitely not going easy on you now.”

“Good,” Hannah replies, narrowing her eyes. She lifts the bat up, eyes dark and focused.

“All right, herrrrrrrre goes.”

“Just throw the ball, Mike,” Beth calls, crouched behind Hannah with the catcher’s mitt on.

Mike pouts, before rearing back and letting go an impressive fastball.

Well, it would be impressive if he wasn’t pitching to his baby sister, Californian tennis state finalist and by far and away the best athlete in the Washington clan.

The ball hits the bat with a satisfying thunk, sailing high into the air and into the snowy thickets behind their makeshift field.

“Whoa,” Mike mutters.

“Yay, Hannah,” Sam calls. She’s sitting with Emily on a log in the outfield, neither girl making an attempt to move as the ball sails past them.

“Yeah Hannah, home run, baby, yeah!” Matt calls out, pumping his fist in the air. Hannah blows him a kiss as she gracefully rounds first base, her feet barely touching the ground, running with an athlete’s ease.

“Hey uh, Jess? You wanna get the ball?”

“I’m not running, Michael.”

“Okkaaaaaay. Ash?”

Ashley looks even colder than Josh as she squishes herself up close to Chris. “I’m fine here, thanks.”

Mike glances at him, but he knows enough not to ask, understanding that even when it comes to sport, his allegiances are to his sisters, and his sisters alone.

With a sigh, Mike lopes off to retrieve the ball, not bothering to ask Chris, who is on his phone, or Emily, who is talking to Sam, to help.

One minute turns to two. Then three. Then four. Then Josh starts to feel the first stirrings of panic.

“Hey uh, anyone think he’s been gone for too long?”

“It’s just bush down there,” Beth says.

“Maybe he’s been eaten by a bear,” Jess says, unhelpfully.

There are bears in this part of Colorado, and while Jess is joking, he can’t shake the idea of Mike somewhere in the thickets, hurt and alone.

“I’ll go check,” Josh says, hoping no one hears the quiver in his voice.

The snow is thick down here and if Josh wasn’t so sure on his feet he’s certain he’d stumble. All Washingtons know their way around snow, so he manages to make his way down the steep slope, following what must be Mike’s footsteps.

He doesn’t have to wait long until he finds what he’s looking for.

When he hears Mike voice, Josh slows, curious. He sounds like he’s talking to himself. Josh has never seen Mike alone before, so he slows down, making as little noise as possible as he approaches.

“Here little ball, here little ball, where are you, little ball?” Mike mumbles to himself in a sing-song voice, scouring the snow.

Josh knows he shouldn’t, but damn, he’s got to exploit this situation. He crouches behind a large bush, leaning to the side, making himself as small as possible but still ensuring he has a line of sight on Mike.

Then he takes out his phone. And presses record.

“Where you’d go, you stupid ball. Jeez. This is why baseball in the snow suuuuucks.”

Mike hunts around a little, frustration beginning to show. He strides towards where Josh is hiding, and a small part of him wants to warn Mike about the semi-hidden tree root when-

“Oof,” Mike trips, falling to the ground with a heavy thud. “Fuck nuggets.”

Josh squeezes his eyes shut and wills himself not to laugh. It’s difficult keeping the camera steady, but he manages, because the world needs to know about Michael Munroe, secret comedian.

“Gotcha. Think you could get away from me, huh, you punk?” Mike says, finding the ball nestled near the tree branch where he had fallen.

Mike’s beaming. His smile’s a bit lopsided, his mouth curving more to the left, but the fact it’s not perfect makes it more charming, somehow, and Josh is struck by how handsome Mike looks with a broad grin on his face.

Mike gets up, wiping the snow from his jeans, humming a jaunty tune to himself. He looks distracted, and that’s when an idea that’s too good to ignore pops into Josh’s head.

He waits until Mike is almost on top of him then –

“BOO!”

“Argh!”

“Oh dude,” Josh laughs, still recording. “Oh my god, you have got to see your face.”

“What the hell, man.”

“Oh my god, your face.”

“You were recoding that?”

“Hey, if the political gig doesn’t work out for you, I’d say you have a career in acting all lined up. You’ve got quite the expressive face, Mike.”

“I was scared, you ass. You can’t just jump out at someone in the middle of the woods. It’s scary.”

“The girlish scream was a very nice touch.”

“Gimme that.”

“What are you dorks doing?”

Jess. Josh was so focused on Mike, he didn’t even notice her.

“Here,” Josh says, ignoring how he flushes as Jess draws near. He stops recording, before starting the video from scratch. “Watch my latest flick: Werewolf in the Woods.”

“Why am I a werewolf?”

“Because you’re hairy,” Josh says, watching as Jess’ face lights up.

“Oh my god, I didn’t know you had such a cute ladylike scream, Michael.”

“I do not have a girly scream, Jess. Hey, uh, you’re not going to send that to anyone, right Josh?”

“And deny the world this masterpiece?”

“Josh.”

“All right, all right, but you, you know, _owe_ me,” he says, winking in an exaggerated way, enjoying the almost bashful way Mike ducks his head.

“Oooh, blackmail, me likey,” Jess cheers.

“Whatever, I’m going to go over there and be all mature and shit,” Mike says. Josh isn’t sure if Mike is doing it deliberately, but his pouting really shows off his lips. They look soft, plump, and good for kissing.

Josh almost kicks himself. Where the hell did that come from?

“Hey, are you guys okay?” Matt’s voice calls out from somewhere above.

“Josh?” That’s Hannah.

“Hey sis. Nothing to see here, we’ll be up in a second.”

“Okay,” and now his sister sounds impatient. “We still have a game to finish, though, right?”

“We do,” Josh says, sharing a grin with Mike. “We do.”

 

                                                         ++++

 

They fall into a rhythm.

Usually, there’s an activity after dinner, but it’s not long before one of the couples slips off to go upstairs under the guise of ‘being tired.’ Soon one couple becomes two, then three, and then there’s just him and Mike, alone.

They make the best of it.

“Damn, this place is almost homey now,” Mike says. He’s gathered up more firewood and is stoking the flames. Mike has a point. Josh used to think the second living room was cold, austere almost, but him and Mike have made it their own. He likes that there’s little reminders of their time everywhere; Mike’s old boots by the door, the messed-up blanket they both sit on when they’re playing PS4, the still smoldering ash tray where Josh has stubbed out his blunt.

“Let’s load it up,” Josh says, indicating to the PS4.

They’ve been doing this ritual every night for a week. Beer, fire and video games. It’s no substitute for getting laid (and Josh really, really, doesn’t want to think about all the fun his friends, including his baby sisters, are having) but it’s lovely all the same.

It would be even better if he could reign in his hormones.

Every night, Josh notices something new about Mike. How, even though his hands are large and bulky, his fingers are nimble, moving across the PS4 controller with ease. How he grits his jaw when he’s really tense, how he licks his lips absentmindedly when –

“Damn, you want to concentrate, Josh, or are you going to let me kick your ass all night?”

Josh coughs. He reaches for a drink, his throat dry.

“Just making this interesting.”

“Yup. Me kicking your ass sure is interesting.”

Josh would prefer if he’d do something _else_ with his ass, but it doesn’t matter how many beers he’s had, he’s not going to say that. He feels stupid, like he should be more evolved, or something, and not be the idiot lusting after his straight friend. Even if that straight friend has a jaw that could cut glass and an ass that just won’t quit.

“Boom. You’re done. Done city.”

“Yep,” Josh concedes. He hasn’t been able to concentrate all night. He reaches for his beer again. He needs some Dutch courage right now.

“So,” Josh coughs. “I’ve been wanting to ask you something.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. You seemed really into that girl. The one we saw when we were getting booze. We can go back there, if you want. To see if she’s still there. I can be your wingman. The Batman to your Robin.”

“Yeah,” Mike rubs the back of his neck. He almost looks self-conscious. “I think I might have lost that one.”

“Really, Casanova?”

“Yeah, uh. Maybe I’ve lost the Midas touch.”

Mike sounds disconsolate, and it’s such an overreaction Josh stops himself from loading up another game.

“Why?”

“Oh, I dunno.…I guess,” Mike clears his throat. “This is the longest I’ve ever been without a girlfriend.”

“What?” Josh almost drops his controller.

“Yeah.”

“Weren’t you…dating some girl you met at college? The talkative blonde one. I swear she came to one of my parties, right?”

“Sinead. Yeah.”

“That was months ago.”

“Three months and 24 days. Just saying.”

“That’s unlike you, bro,” Josh says. It’s true. He’s always had at least one girl on the go, sometimes more. Mike loved it, breathed in the adulation like air. Josh always found that shit distasteful, even before Hannah became part of the fawning procession. He’s still grateful that Sam stopped that prank on Blackwood Mountain, grateful that he didn’t have to watch his little sister pine over someone who never really wanted her back.

“I hear your college is kinda a party town…”

“It is,” Mike laughs. His smile doesn’t reach his eyes. “You’d think it would be impossible to get bored when you’re surrounded by hotties, right?”

He doesn’t say anything, watching as Mike drains the rest of his beer.

“It gets the same, you know? All these girls. They’re hot, obviously. And I am not turning down lady loving when it comes my way, but none of the girls I’ve met at college… none of them interest me, you know? For more than a night, max. Even though I think they should. I dunno. Man. Maybe I’m going insane…”

“Cause I would know?”

“I don’t mean it like that…”

“I know, I know, stop having an aneurysm,” Josh quips, feeling a bit touched when Mike’s smile turns genuine. “You don’t have to explain anything to me. I’ve been there, too.”

“Yeah,” Mike tears his eyes away, stares off into the distance. Josh watches the way the light from the fire dances on his face. “The problem is, though, not having a girlfriend means I have too much time to think…”

Josh tries to swallow. Can’t.

“What do you think about?”

There’s a pause, then

“Well, you know, how to make sure there aren’t any compromising photos of me, that can come out, you know, when I’m having my presidential run.”

Years of therapy means Josh can smell bullshit, and right now, Mike reeks. But it doesn’t feel right to probe further, not when Mike is already moving on, his tone somewhere between serious and joking.

 _Somewhere safe,_ Josh thinks.

“…and like I said, Josh, the iPhone means you gotta be a nun in public.”

“Well, that rules me out of a life in politics.”

“You would be a terrible president.”

“Terribly _awesome_ , you mean.”

“Yeah, right. Let’s just get you sticking to video games, for now.”

                                                      ++++

Days pass. He tries to stop not to read anything into Mike’s body language, tries to shrug off the way he sometimes catches his friend looking at him when he thinks Josh is unaware. It was easy when thinking about Mike was just an idle fantasy. He’s been blessed with attractive friends, and, save for his almost-brother Chris, he’s thought about them _all_ in compromising positions. The idea, though, that there could be something behind Mike’s furtive looks is driving him crazy. It keeps Josh up at night, tossing and turning in bed, until the tension becomes too much and he’s slipping a hand down the front of his boxers.

He’s just horny. That’s all. If he ignores it, these feelings will go away. 

                                                      ++++

Josh feels Jess’ eyes on him the minute he walks into the room.

It’s nightfall, the others are sitting around the fire in the main living room, roasting marshmallows in the flames. Josh had come in to find Hannah. Maybe he’s feeling nostalgic, but he really wants them to finally start on their traditional Christmas gingerbread house. He goes to call out to his sister but stops; Hannah’s at the center of the group, her head resting on Sam’s lap, her legs sprawled together with Beth’s. She laughs at something Emily says, looking serene and content.

She wouldn’t want him to disturb her.

He’s about to slink off when he realizes Jess is staring at him.

Jess’ eyes are sharp and demanding. It’s what he likes about her best; there’s no subtilty to her. Josh shrugs and walks into the study, not surprised when he hears Jess’s footsteps behind him.

She closes the door.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Have you been avoiding me?”

Josh sighs, leans against the desk. Jess is staring, jaw clenched, eyes all defiant.

“Kind of.”

“Why?”

“It’s weird.”

“What? Me and Em?”

 Josh shrugs.

“Great. Well, it’s not going to change, so you better get used to it. Emily is my girl, and I’ll tell you what, it’s _such_ a downer, seeing you walking around like someone’s kicked your puppy.”

“Oh, I’m so glad things have worked out so well for you. Don’t let little-ole-me get in the way. I wish you luck on your voyage to the Isle of Lesbos.”

“Oh my god, can you speak English?” Jess throws her hands up, glowering at him. “You don’t get to do this.”

“Do what?”

“You don’t get to be jealous, buster, not when you made it quite clear that you were just in it for the sex.”

“What?” that stings. “I never said that.”

“You didn’t have to,” she says, bluntly. She rubs her temples, and Josh stops himself from reaching out and taking her into his arms.

“Josh, I’m not going around pretending I regret what happened. We had fun. I’m a babe. You’re a babe. But it was a just a good time, right?”

He says nothing.  

“Josh?” Jess’s voice sounds small. “That’s all it was?”

He can’t meet her eye. He shivers. It’s so cold now that they’re away from the fire.

“Oh my god,” and it feels so good to hear Jess sounding like her normal, no-bullshit self that Josh smothers a smile. “You… you idiot. Why didn’t you _do_ something? Say something? If I’d known…”

“You’d be with me?”

“Maybe,” Jess shrugs. “Or maybe we’d have crashed and burned. But you never did anything so…when Emily finally told me she changed her mind, that she liked me back… there wasn’t anything stopping me.”

“Oh,” he looks down at his hands. “But it’s too late now?”

“Yeah. Way too late.”

“Okay…” he feels awkward, chastised. “Cool. Cool. Good talk.”

“Josh, I hate it when you do that.”

“What?”

“That stupid Washington-brooding thing. You and Beth both do it. You both clam up. So, stop it. Stop being a clam…. man.”

They both laugh. Jess takes a step forward, her expression softening.

“I miss you,” she says. “When we were down in the woods, making fun of Mike, I realized that I missed you. So, can we just get past all the lame awkwardness and be friends again? Please?”

“Of course,” he holds out his arms. “Come here.”

They embrace, brief but intimate, and it doesn’t hurt as much he expects when Jess pulls away.

“Uh, excuse you, can you get your stubby little fingers away from her?”

Emily is standing by the door, her eyes like tiny daggers.

“I’ll have you know I have a pianist fingers.”

“Sure, if the pianist is in kindergarten.”

“Emily,” Jess interrupts, reaching for her girlfriend. “It’s fine, come here.”

Josh is amazed how Emily’s anger seems to seep away the second Jess takes her hands. He almost wants to make a joke about a threesome, just to see Emily’s head explode, but Jess wouldn’t talk to him for a week and he doesn’t want that, not when he thinks they’re finally getting better.

Jess is whispering something in Emily’s ear, and it’s so intimate and sweet that Josh doesn’t want to crimp their style. He shoots Jess a final smile, before backtracking his way out of the room as quickly as he can.

The others have gone, the fire abandoned and starting to die. He’s about to go replenish it when he hears Hannah.

She’s sitting on the couch with Matt, the pair of them talking in a low, teasing whisper. Josh watches, rooted to the spot, as Hannah’s hand tiptoes up his forearm, before stopping to stroke Matt's bicep.

He’s about to say something very stupid before he feels a heavy hand grip the back of his jacket.

“Hey now, let’s go before you say something you’re going to regret.”

Josh squirms, trying to get out of Mike’s grasp. “Bro…”

“Come on,” Mike whispers, his breath hot on the back of Josh’s neck. “Let go to our room.”

Josh tries to wriggle out of Mike’s grasp, but it’s useless. Mike is strong, much stronger than Josh expected.

They finally get to the second living room. The room is warm already. It looks like Mike had spent time getting it ready for them.

“Did you know there’s a second pantry in the room next to here?”

“What?” Josh is pulled from his thoughts.

“A second pantry! And it’s fully stocked.”

“Yeah, uh, Chris and Beth and me stocked it up a couple of days ago. The roads are iced so it’s not worth going anywhere.”

“Yeah?” Mike grins. “Well, lookie what I found when I was in there.” He indicates to a carton of beer sitting on the floor at the end of the couch. “Thirsty?”

“Oh Michael,” Josh smirks. “You sure know your way to a boy’s heart.”

                                                   ++++

“So, like, why do you always look like you want to kick Matt’s ass?”

Josh almost chokes. “What?”

“I’m just saying, Matt’s a good dude. Hannah could do worse.”

“She absolutely could,” Josh snaps, looking pointedly at Mike, who just laughs.

“Exactly. So, what’s the big deal?”

He doesn’t want to tell Mike about how it feels like his sister is slipping away. Beth has always been independent, capable of looking after herself, but Hannah’s fragile, and always looked to him for support.

Except now she’s got Matt, and Josh's not needed anymore.

“It’s nothing.”

“I’m just saying, he’s a meathead. But a good guy.”

“And?”

“And maybe you should give him a break?”

“Whatever,” Josh rolls his eyes, turning his attention back to the game. “Thanks for the lecture, dad.”

“Dude, ah, you better not start calling me daddy, is all I’m saying.”

“I make absolutely no promises.”

There’s a faint flush on Mike’s cheeks, and even in the gloom Josh can tell it’s not from drinking.

Josh takes a deep swig of his beer, enjoying how it burns his throat.

It’s going to be a long night.

                                                   ++++

“What’s up with you and Jess?”

He’s not sure he likes the direction of the conversation, but Mike looks insistent, so Josh finishes the rest of drink, dropping to the floor along with the other dozen discarded cans.

“What do you mean?”

“ _What do you mean_?” Mike mimics. “Come on, I saw the way you were looking at her when we were playing baseball. You could probably see your goo-goo eyes from space.”

“My eyes are naturally googly.”

“Come on, man.”

“Fine, fine,” he’s surprised by Mike’s intuitiveness. His friend’s a leader, the kind of decisive decision-maker people are drawn to, but for some reason Josh never thought he was particularly perceptive. Then again, Mike’s making a habit of surprising him. “We used to be a thing. Not anymore, though.”

“Whoa ho ho, I knew it,” Mike goes to slap his knee, but misses, hitting the sofa instead. “What happened?”

“Emily happened.”

“So, she dumped you for her?”

“I guess,” Josh frowns. He feels a little woozy, like the alcohol is starting to catch up with him.

“You seem to care, though.”

“What do you mean, bro?”

“You know,” Mike’s looking at the couch, feigning nonchalance, but Josh can see through it, sees how tense he is. “You still like her.”

“Nah, I don’t, I mean, fuck. It’s more…like, what could have been, you know? She told me things could have been different, if I had, just, taken the initiative or like, _done something._ ” He finishes by mimicking Jess’s high voice.

“Done something?”

“Tell her how I felt. Confess my sins. I don’t know man, there’s no use now. She’s with Emily and I’m…. I’m more okay with than I thought I’d be.”

“Cool,” Mike says. He looks away. “Cool.”

Neither of them speak again. So, they keep drinking, drinking and drinking until the carton of beer gets dangerously low.

“Bro…”

“Bro?”

There’s a heavy pause. Then -

“How… how did you know?”

The fire cracks in front of them. But it’s not as loud as Josh’s heart, beating in his ears.

“Know… what?”

“That you liked both. Guys. And girls.”

_Oh_

He flushes, scrambles for something to say. “Sam and Jess, they, they like both too, have you…”

“It’s different,” Mike interrupts. “You’re a guy. I thought it was different. For guys.”

It’s really not, but Josh doesn’t blame Mike for his ignorance, not when Mike is looking more lost and vulnerable than he’s ever seen him.  

“It’s not different,” Josh says, setting his controller on the table. “Girls, guys. You like what you like. And for me, I think, damn, there’s hot people on both sides, you know? Why restrict myself to just half the world’s beauty. And,” he smirks, loving the way Mike is staring, hanging off his every word. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there are a lot beautiful guys out there.”

He leans forward, not taking his eyes off Mike’s.

“I used to be ashamed. But eventually you gotta say: fuck it. I’m not going to hate myself anymore. I’m screwed up. But not because of who I fuck.”

“Yeah,” Mike says, eyes darting to Josh’s lips. “Yeah.”

He moves, on instinct, covering Mike’s hand with his own.

“What,” Mike flinches, but doesn’t move away. “What are you doing?”

“Taking the initiative,” He says, smiling, dragging his thumb across Mike’s coarse knuckles.

There’s a pause, and Josh thinks for a second neither of them will have the willpower to break it, but then Mike’s surging forward, grabbing Josh by the lapels of his jacket pushing their mouths together.

It takes Josh a few seconds to relax, because his brain is short circuiting. Mike, _Mike_ , his, arrogant, brave, beautiful friend is kissing him and it’s the best thing ever.

A small part of his brain is saying _stop,_ _this is wrong_ , _you’re both drunk, stop it_ , but he doesn’t, because, alcohol or not, it’s fucking hot because Mike is so needy, his kisses are urgent and hard and despite the fact his lips may be bruised in the morning, Josh can’t get enough.

Mike rips his mouth away, and Josh almost whines at the loss.

“Are you okay?” Josh asks.

“Yeah,” Mike growls, panting heavily as he shoves Josh down onto the couch. “Yeah.”

Mike’s fully on top of him then, and Josh can’t breathe, because he’s so, so much heavier and solid than in his fantasies. But it’s hot, squirming underneath him, and Josh doesn’t even care how turned-on he sounds when he moans into Mike’s mouth.

Mike’s still kissing him, hard and deep and rough, like he needs it, wants it, like this isn’t some drunken fumble. So, Josh takes a chance, pushing a hand underneath’s Mike flannel shirt, enjoying the feel of his stomach underneath his palm.

Josh moans a bit into Mike’s mouth when he gets to his chest, dragging his fingers across the muscles he finds there. His nipples are hard, and Josh can’t help but drag a thumb over one, playing with the nub, grinning as Mike squirms above him.

“Josh,” Mike groans, his mouth moving to rest by his ear. “Oh, fuck, _Josh_.”

And it’s the sexiest thing ever, hearing Mike say his name. And Josh can’t believe it, can’t believe he’s known Mike for years and never done this with him. And now that he’s here, gasping as Mike pins him down onto the couch, Josh’s eager to make up for all that lost time.

Josh slips another hand beneath Mike’s shirt, stroking and caressing the skin there, before eventually looping his fingers around his belt buckle, pushing their hips together. Josh is already hard, and almost painfully so, but his brain short circuits a bit when he lifts his hips up and feels the large bulge in Mike’s pants.

He is almost flattered for a second, because here’s proof that Mike wants this, that’s he not a passive recipient to Josh’s desires. In fact, there’s nothing passive about to Mike at all, as grinds down hard against Josh, scrambling for friction.

Josh opens his legs, lets Mike rut up against him. Josh groans, thinks maybe he’s a bit of a slut for being one of the many people who’ve spread their legs for Mike. But he doesn’t give a shit. Not when Mike’s panting, hot and urgent, up against his ear.

“Fuck,” Mike groans, biting down softly on Josh’s ear. “Fuck, I never thought – fuck.”

“I know,” Josh whispers, kissing down his neck. “I know.”

Josh is about surge up and kiss him again when he hears a soft curse from what sounds like the pantry.

Above him, Mike freezes.

Josh cranes his neck, tries to see into the pantry. They’ve left the door open, which means whoever is in there has a clear line of sight to the living room.

In the gloom Josh can just make out a large figure. Above him, Mike shivers.

“Don’t move,” Mike whispers. “Don’t fucking move a muscle.”

And it’s easy for him to say, because he’s not the one squished down onto the couch, his crotch resting up against Mike’s erection. But Josh takes a deep breathe and squints, trying to make out the figure in the gloom.

The person opens the fridge, bathing them in light, and –

Chris?

His best friend peers into fridge, mumbling to himself, before pulling out a roast chick drum stick.

 _Arsehole,_ Josh seethes. _That’s Thursday’s chicken._

Above him he, he hears Mike grumble softly, the pair of watching, hoping, praying, Chris doesn’t look over.

Chris gnaws at the drumstick, ripping bits of chicken off the bone, groaning to himself. Josh curses. Listening to Chris eat is disgusting. Why on earth would Ashley choose to kiss that mouth? 

Josh huffs a bit at that thought, and it must be louder than he anticipated because Chris stops.

“Hello?” he calls out.

They stay still, silent.

“Hello?”

Chris peers into the living room, and that’s it, the game is up, Josh’s mind already scrambling for an excuse when –

Chris shrugs, blinking owlishly as he adjusts his glasses. He scratches his belly, belching, before discarding the bone in the bin and shuffling away.

Josh breathes out, vowing to never, ever, tease Chris for practically being blind again.

Mike lets out a shaky breath when the coast is clear, getting off Josh and sitting on the other end of the couch.

“That was too close.”

“No kidding.”

Mike runs a hand through his delightfully disheveled hair. Lust’s still coursing through Josh’s body, and he can’t help but stare at Mike’s shiny, red lips. It takes every inch of his willpower not to launch forward and bring their mouths together. But his friend looks stunned, shaking like a hapless lamb.

“Hey, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Mike whispers. “I just… I’m sorry, but this… is a lot to take in.”

And while it sucks, because Josh is still aching for Mike, missing the feel of his skin against his. But as Josh always says, coming out is hard, and he’s really, really, not in a position to judge.

“Come on,” Josh says. He motions to the PS4. They’d spent so long making out the screen had turned off. “Wanna boot this bad boy back up?”

“Yeah,” Mike says, smiling softly at him. “Yeah, that’d be great.” 

                                      ++++

Josh wakes up with a bad crick in his neck.

It takes him a few seconds to remember where he is. Somewhere in the lodge, and it feels early, if the soft light streaming through the shutters is any indication. His mouth is dry, and his head’s aching, but he feels fine.

Better than fine.

Mike is lying on top of him, his head resting in the crook of Josh’s neck. When Josh moves a bit, he feels a tiny bit of drool trickle down his throat.

Gross. Mike’s lucky he’s cute.

He mumbles something in his sleep, burrowing closer to Josh. Josh laughs fondly, dragging his fingers through his thick hair, marveling at how this is the first time he’s woken next to someone and wished it wasn’t Jess instead.

He’s about to try and slip back to sleep when he hears someone clear their throat.

His head snaps forward, heart beating, about to stammer out an excuse, until he sees it’s Beth, leaning against the door frame, cocking an eye brow at him.

“Follow me,” she mouths.

He carefully extracts himself from under Mike, watching as his friend sinks into the couch, mumbling to himself. Josh grins. Mike looks peaceful when he sleeps.

Beth clears her throat again.

They move into the pantry, closing the door behind them.

“Do I even want to know?”

“No, you…you probably should forget you ever saw that.”

“I’ll try, big brother, I’ll try.”

“How’d you know I was in here?”

“Like I didn’t know you and Mike were sneaking off? I just thought you were in a man cave and not a … love nest.”

“Hey,” he snaps, feeling a bit defensive. “You’re not… you’re not going to tell anyone about this, right?”

“Of course,” Beth huffs, but her voice lacks bite. “You know I can keep a secret. Just… be careful. Okay?”

 “Okay.”

“Come on. We need you in the other kitchen.”

“Wait a second,” Josh says. He darts back into the lounge room, grabbing the discarded blanket from the floor. Quietly, he drapes it over Mike, not leaving until he’s secure and warm.

When he looks back at Beth, her expression is somewhere between exasperated and touched, but thankfully she doesn’t say anything, turning on her heels and striding towards the other end of the house.

Josh struggles to keep up. While he’s taller than his sisters, they both have impossibly long legs. Within minutes they’re at the door of the kitchen, and he’s about to ask why Beth dragged him away when someone opens the door.

“Josh!”

Hannah. She beams at him, glasses akimbo and fingers all white with flour. She throws her arms around him.

“You found him, Beth.”

“Hey,” Josh squeezes Hannah tight. “I’m here, what’s the commotion? Is everything okay?”

“Of course,” Hannah says, grabbing Josh by the hand and tugging him into the kitchen. The room’s a mess, flour, baking trays and candy canes strewn everywhere.

Josh stops. Candy canes?

“I wanted to wait until we found you,” Hannah says, rubbing flour from her face. “I didn’t want to start baking until we decided how big we wanted our gingerbread house to be.”

“What?” and he’s touched, willing himself not to cry. “I thought…. I guess just assumed you’d want Matt to help you with the house this year?”

“Matt?” Hannah wrinkles her nose. “Well, he’s sweet, but this is our thing, Josh. I don’t want to do it with anyone else.”

“Me neither, sis,” He grins, taking her hand. “Me neither.”

They start to bake, Hannah bossing him around as usual, with Beth taking pot shots from the sidelines, as he hears the others beginning the stir in the rooms above, the morning beginning in earnest.

Josh smiles. Looks like he’s going to enjoy this holiday after all.

**Author's Note:**

> I know, I know, the end is sappy. I couldn't help it. It's Christmas.
> 
> Thanks again for Sam Giddings for organizing the Christmas Santa, and to zayndehaan herself, who is a magnificent writer who I much admire. I hope my useless lesbian self didn't muck up the sexy parts too much.
> 
> ALSO fun fact: this takes place in the Make You Burn Universe. Yes, you know what that means. Sam has packed a very special friend with her on this trip.
> 
> I adore this pairing and would love to write them more. I kinda think they are perfect gay (or, well, bi) disasters.
> 
> If you liked it, please leave a kudos, and if you really want to warm the cockles of my cold dead heart, please leave a review.
> 
> Happy holidays all!


End file.
